Dreams . . .

One night, Annie was fondly thinking of her amazing, funny, romantic, amazing lover, handsome

boyfriend, TJ.  His birthday was coming up in 3 months and she wanted to do something extra special for him.  Knowing that she loved him just a schosh less than he, she decided to ask God for help.

Annie called out, "God?"

God replied:  "Yes my child?"

Annie asked, "I think the most amazing man in the world, who is so freakin hot, funny, romantic and just amazing - you know, my boyfriend TJ. He makes me so very, very happy I can just think of him and have an...err, nevermind. Don’t worry, I’ll go to confession later this week.  Anyways God, I want to do the same for him.  Change me into the woman that TJ will think is the most beautiful, the most kind, the most affectionate and the most loving woman on the planet."

God asked:  "Are thou SURE, sure that is what thou wanteth?"

Annie replied, "Yes, I am so in love with him.  I am sure."

God answered: "Very well my child, go to sleep and rest easy, for when thy wake up morrow morning, thou shall have prayer fulfilled."

Annie was very excited, she was so excited she did something that is completely out of character, she was staying up because she couldn't go to sleep!  Eventually with thoughts of her funny, sexy romantic man in her thoughts, she fell into a deep, deep sleep. 

When she woke the next morning, she remembered the promise God made to her.  She sprang out of bed like a pasodoble dancer and ran to the mirror to see what she looked like.  What she saw was a woman with no make-up on and uncombed hair. 

Annie recognized the reflection and said, “WTF?”  She couldn’t say the actual words, you know, in case He was listening.  Annie was disappointed to find the same woman that greeted her at the mirror every morning. 

Annoyed, Annie cried out like she was yelling at John B., "GOD!"

God replied peacefully: "Yes my child?"

An exasperated Annie, pleaded with the almighty, "God, you said that while I slept you would change me into the woman of T's dreams.  I woke up this morning, I look EXACTLY the same!  I feel EXACTLY the same! I’ll say my hail Mary’s later God, but seriously, WTF!!!????"

God answered: "My dear sweet child, I did not say that I would change thou into the woman of TJ's dreams while thou slept.  I said, ‘when thou awoke, your prayer would be fulfilled.’  You have been working on thou prayer for the last 27 years.  I haven't made thou into the woman of his dreams.  Annie my child, you have become a woman beyond his dreams."